Screwed.edu
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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