So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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