speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I can't turn off my feet"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
