my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
