Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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