and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
