i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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