What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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