There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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