Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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