Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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