I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
