I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
