I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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