It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
