You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
