Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
