Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
