just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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