I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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