I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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