You insisted on take shots off of plates.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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