I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
