he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
