Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I look better un-naked...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
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That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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