i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize