pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
