i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
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in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
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Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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