I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
