they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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