i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
