During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize