Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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