omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
