Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
