Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Fuck appropriateness.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
