Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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