p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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