Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
