Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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