we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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