Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
