he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.