He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
