i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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