i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
