you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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