you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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