Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
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The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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