"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
