Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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