we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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