drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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