Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
