Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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