I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Where are you guys?
Drunk
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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