I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
