i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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