it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
