I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
