scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
