There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
