I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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