im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
